Building up others - What does that really mean? What does that look like at home? In a marriage? At work? While grocery shopping? Great questions! I’m going to share some real and even hard realities about my life and what I’ve learned about building up others.

Too often I’ve taken my husband for granted. He’s a hard worker, doesn’t complain often and always has my back. I just assumed that because he stayed the course, I was doing everything right. Well, I was wrong. Looking back it all makes sense...after all hind sight is 20/20. It’s hard to admit, but for a while I didn’t really notice him. Yes, I saw him. We lived together, I couldn’t miss him. He cooked our meals, mowed our yard, took out the trash... At some point I just thought he was good with it all and I didn’t need to express how much I loved his smile or how I truly appreciated him working hard to provide for our family. I had said all that before, he should know - right? I was still there, he should just know that I appreciated and loved him.

Here’s the thing, once I stopped telling him how awesome he was, I changed. It was slow and snuck up on me without me knowing it but I became cold and selfish. I was no longer pouring into our relationship, I was taking it for granted. I poured into my career, my son, my friends but not my husband. Ladies, I’m here to tell you right now that your man needs your kind words. He needs your encouragement. He needs you to share your dreams with him and listen as he shares his. He needs your prayer. He needs you to call out what he does right more often than what he does wrong.

Luckily, God brought this to my attention. For the first time, in a long time, I truly started to see my husband again. I became more intentional. I started asking about his day. I looked forward to him coming home. I started making time to snuggle on the couch and enjoy an occasional make-out session.

An added bonus, we are a living example of the life we want for our son. He’s learning as he sees us dance to “our song” and treat each other with love and respect. He hears and feels our kind words and knows what a healthy marriage between two imperfect people looks like. 

Sometimes, building up others feels fake or insincere so we don’t do it. Sometimes, our pride gets in the way. Sometimes, we just don’t think that person needs us to build them up. There are many reasons why we don’t take action. It all starts with us seeing, I mean really seeing people and our willingness to do something about it.